You know that feeling you get when things hit you.
When you know something big is about to happen, perhaps not winning the lottery kind of big; but big.
If not, well then you might open up your eyes every once in a while; because like it or not change has a funny way of sneaking up on us all.
It's not like I haven't been planning for this year for the past five years of my life: escaping from the closed-minded dreadfully boring claustrophobic small town.
One year left counting, well technically one school year left til' I'm out on my own in the big scary world.
Don't get the wrong idea, this is no sob story. The big bad world part isn't really the downer, it's the all of the sudden being afraid what will happen if I leave. Not to me when I leave, I for one am fully confident that I will succeed in life and be happy after falling flat on my face at least once. I know what I want: back-pack through Europe next summer, go to UT Austin,become a forensic anthropologist, travel the world, do some good, help people, learn everything I can, see the beauty and soak it up, to jump of cliffs and explore the oceans. I want a little piece of this beautiful world, not the ugly humanity part; I'd rather take the opposite approach.
The scary thing is leaving behind the ones you love when you're not sure if they'll be there when you get back. "The one that means the most could be gone before you even leave let alone finish the first three things on this list Kylie", is what I think to myself everyday...
Here comes the bad part: having to deal with this, the concept of losing your hero and the person you've always wanted to be is not easy. It makes you cut off contact with all the others you could potentially love as much as them. In short the world gets the short end of the stick and the cold shoulder from you.
So on top of everything else that could arise from this quote un-quote greatest year of our life [senior year(coughcough)] You have this. Crushing you from all sides, and let me tell you being claustrophobic doesn't help.

i'm awaiting the horrible.
though that probably won't hit until tomorrow.
don't do anything too interesting while i'm gone.

"Someone once said:It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. Me... I just want to live a life I'm going to remember. Even if I don't write it down."